


The Hardest Words To Say

by nereidee (aurasama)



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: First night together at the farm, Fluff, Just Married, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 02:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20107318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurasama/pseuds/nereidee
Summary: Elliott might be a poet and might have just gotten married to the man of his dreams, but even he struggles with certain three words.





	The Hardest Words To Say

The moon was barely half full, but its pale light, flooding through the window, was just enough to reveal the outlines of the figure lying by his side. _He's going to sleep next to me every night from now on, _Jensen realised suddenly. Elliott was so close that he could have reached out his hand and touched him at any time, at his leisure. He held his breath instinctively at the thought.

They had been going out for months before Jensen had finally found the courage to propose. It wasn't like they'd never touched before that; they'd held hands, they'd embraced and kissed, of course, but the fact that he would now be there, within touching distance, so warm, real and alive, every single morning and night, was overwhelming. Every day, he could take his hand, or cup his face and kiss him, or spoon him with hopes of falling asleep like that until one or both of them would inevitably get too warm and he'd have to roll back to his side of the bed.  
  
The mere idea was enough to make him giddy with excitement.

Then, hesitantly, he reached out and found Elliott in the dark, blankets mostly kicked aside in the warmth of the cottage. The other man let out a sleepy murmur and shifted under his touch. Jensen let his hand run down his side to his waist and lower, tentatively feeling the edge of his hip bone through his boxers. He received a sigh in answer.

“Are you still awake?” Elliott asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

Elliott shifted again, placing his hand on top of Jensen's, and, after some fumbling in the dark, laced their fingers together.  
  
“You're trembling again,” he said. “Are you nervous?”  
  
“I'm just happy.” Elliott let out a sceptical sound. “And a bit nervous, yes.”  
  
“That makes two of us, then,” he replied, and Jensen could almost hear the smile in his voice. He brought their joined hands up to his mouth and kissed his husband's knuckles softly. “It will no doubt take us some time to grow used to living together like this.”  
  
“You'd been living on your own for quite some time, too, hadn't you?”  
  
“Quite. I think I much prefer this to a bachelor's life, however.”

“It must have gotten lonely in that cottage of yours sometimes.”  
  
Elliott sighed again. “A writer's life is lonely. Inspiration blossoms from solitude and the quiet suffering of one's soul… or that's what I liked to tell myself, my dear. I am not so sure any more that I was right about that.”  
  
Jensen gave his hand a squeeze. “I hope I can help you find your inspiration elsewhere.”  
  
“You already have, remember? I felt completely stuck with my work, until I met you.”  
  
He opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out except for a weird, strangled noise of what might have been embarrassment. Elliott had a knack for blurting out things that would have sounded incredibly corny coming from anyone else's mouth, but he spoke so earnestly that Jensen knew he was dead serious. He could feel heat rising to his face and was immensely grateful that Elliott couldn't see him blush in the darkness. It couldn't, however, keep him from letting go of his hand and feeling the heat on his face instead.  
  
“You're blushing.”  
  
“Anyone would blush after what you just said,” Jensen muttered. Elliott laughed.  
  
“Come here. I want to hold you.”  
  
_I could definitely get used to this,_ Jensen thought a moment later. Elliott's arms around him, his breath warm and soothing in his hair… He placed his hand on the other man's chest and smiled as he felt his heartbeat against his palm.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Just making sure you're still real.”  
  
That made Elliott laugh again. “And am I?”  
  
“Yeah. Crazy real.” The arms around him tightened and pulled him closer. He felt Elliott place a kiss on the top of his head, and he leaned in to the touch without thinking. His hand snaked higher, attempting to bury itself in Elliott's hair, when it collided with something on the way. Jensen paused, feeling the object between his fingers and recognising it a second later. The mermaid's pendant.  
  
“You're still wearing it,” he wondered out loud.  
  
“I'm always wearing it. I would not take it off for the world.”  
  
He turned the pendant around in his hand, warm with Elliott's body heat. The idea that the other man wore it, the symbol of his love, around his neck all the time now was enough to make his heart beat faster all of a sudden. _Husband. My husband,_ he thought. His grip around the pendant tightened momentarily.  
  
“I can still hardly believe that you proposed to me,” Elliott said, following his train of thought. “It seems like something out of a dream.”  
  
“I can hardly believe that you said 'yes'.”  
  
There was a short pause. Elliott took a deep breath and swallowed audibly, as though trying to compose himself. “That day on the boat, I… I wasn't able to say what I truly wanted to say.” He paused again, his voice becoming hesitant. “I can compose a speech on the spot or write a hundred pages of the sweetest poetry with ease, but I can't put into words how you make me feel. Everytime I try the words fail me. So instead I wear this,” he said, and he touched Jensen's hand, still wound around the pendant, “, hoping that it'll tell you how I feel.”  
  
Jensen let go of the pendant and cupped Elliott's face instead, pulling him into a breathless kiss. Soon enough his hand had found its way into Elliott's long hair, Elliott's arm wrapping around his waist and holding him so firmly against himself that they could feel each breath the other took. There was a strange urgency to their frantic touches, a need to feel the other's lips against one's own, a body against a body till they could no longer tell whose limbs were whose.

They broke away finally what felt like hours later, both of them panting heavily. Jensen could just make out Elliott's half-open eyes gazing into his, searching for something, and at that moment he understood exactly the struggle of trying to find the right words. Surely, he thought, surely he could tell by now how he felt? Wasn't it blindingly obvious from each kiss, each caress – did they truly need words to say it?  
  
Jensen took a steadying breath. Obvious or not, he _did _want to say it, damn it. His mouth felt like sand paper and the temptation to just go for another kiss instead was terrible, but if he didn't say it now, would he ever work up the courage?  
  
“I love you,” Jensen whispered, mouth so close to Elliott's that he could feel his breath. “I love you.”  
  
A sound that most closely resembled a dry sob escaped Elliott's throat, and this time it was he who was trembling. Jensen pulled him to his chest, softly kissing his forehead. It was a long time before the other man managed to speak.  
  
“I love you, too,” Elliott whispered back finally, his voice muffled against Jensen's shoulder. “And one day I'll be able to look you in the eye while saying it.”  
  
He received another peck on his forehead in reply. “Take your time. No matter how long it takes, I'll be waiting for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fandom I've ever written any canon character/OC content for, oh boy! If you're on Tumblr you might have seen my doodles about Elliott and my farmer OC Jensen every now and then (my username there is auraboo).


End file.
